Did you know...

… that the Iraq War started because Bill Clinton got his dick sucked?

I’m as surprised as you are. I never knew such a direct connection existed either. All this time I’ve been cursing Bush and Cheney and Rumsfeld and Wolfowitz and PNAC.

My apologies to the neocons.
My compliments to the former president: that’s one powerful dick, sir.

But as Don Hewitt, the former producer of “60 Minutes,” reminds us, such a powerful dick is a dangerous weapon in the hands of the irresponsible (that includes you, Ms. Lewinsky). Without that blowjob, “there’s not one kid who has died in Iraq who wouldn’t be alive today.”

What a sad, soul-crushing legacy for Bill Clinton...and his dick.