Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Butt cheeks for Jesus

What happens when Westboro Baptist Church pickets a Ron White (Blue Collar Comedy Tour) show?
It ain’t pretty.

Just don’t call them prefabricated, paper-based tea infusers! Ever!!

UPDATED BELOW

For reasons known only to themselves, some Red Staters went nuts over Obama’s use of a teabag.
According to The New York Times, on Saturday evening the President of the United States used a thoroughly disgusting gay-baiting slur to refer to people that previous presidents might have called “My Fellow Americans”. Speaking with congressional Democrats, our situationally unaware, amateur-night chief executive asked,
“Does anybody think that the teabag, anti-government people are going to support them if they bring down health care?”
This was pretty much the standard response -- “The lop-eared grinning ninny that’s bringing all this ‘hope and change’ to our country is immature, inexperienced, and in over his head. ‘Teabaggers…’ What a stupid, political clown comment!” -- except that other comments featured more generous use of madrassahs, czars, communists, and street thug.

I helpfully pointed out to the Red Staters that their very own bloggers and commenters had enthusiastically latched on to the term, as did Free Republic, FOX News (Neil Cavuto: Score one for the Teabaggers!), and the organizers of the original Teabaggings.

JadedByPolitics refused to swallow this: “I don’t care how it’s said and by whom, IT IS A SLUR!”

Yeesh. No doubt, JadedByPolitics is busily sending hell-fire emails to some totally baffled customer service rep at the Lipton Tea Co.

UPDATE

Well now. It seems that Obama may not have used the term "teabag" at all. According to Talk Radio News Service, the so-called quote may not be a direct quote but a paraphrase by Rep. Earl Blumenauer (D-Ore).

Monday, November 09, 2009

The point at which I stopped reading

“Muslims take full advantage of America’s freedom of speech to broadcast the Revolution Muslim cultic line per their own street vendors’ open season.”

From the irrepressible and incomprehensible Pastor J. Grant Swank, Jr., at All Voices, The Leading Source for Credible Citizen Reporting.

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Your morning screech

ResistNet -- Home of the Patriotic Resistance -- expresses its displeasure with the man who cast the lone Republican vote for the House’s healthcare bill, Louisiana’s Joseph Cao.

JUST LIKE COMMUNIST VIETNAM HE CAST HIS VOTE WITH THE AMERICAN COMMUNIST

Stay classy ResistNet.

Anh "Joseph" Cao was born in Saigon (now Ho Chi Minh City), Vietnam. His father, an officer with the South Vietnamese Army, was imprisoned by the Communists. At the age of eight, Joseph escaped to America with two of his siblings.

So at the age of eight, little Anh decided to flee to America to form his own Communist sleeper cell. He learned English, grew up, bided his time until Democratic Rep. William Jefferson got into legal trouble, got elected to Jefferson's seat, and unleashed his Communist plot for providing sort-of universal health care coverage to the citizens of the country who bombed the crap out of his native land.

Of course.

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Forgive us this day our daily carnage

Those of us of a certain age have been through this many, many times before. I cannot say I’m shocked or even surprised anymore, which is not to say that I don‘t tear up and say my secularist‘s version of a prayer.

James Fallows, in response to the Fort Hood shootings.
In the saturation coverage right after the events, the “expert” talking heads are compelled to offer theories about the causes and consequences. In the following days and weeks, newspapers and magazine will have their theories too. Looking back, we can see that all such efforts are futile. The shootings never mean anything.

Forty years later, what did the Charles Whitman massacre “mean”? A decade later, do we “know” anything about Columbine? There is chaos and evil in life. Some people go crazy. In America, they do so with guns; in many countries, with knives; in Japan, sometimes poison.

We know the emptiness of these events in retrospect, though we suppress that knowledge when the violence erupts as it is doing now. The cable-news platoons tonight are offering all their theories and thought-drops. They’ve got to fill time. I wish they could stop. As the Vietnam-era saying went, Don’t mean nothing.

RIP
It’s a violent world. America is a violent country. If the criminals don’t get you, the nutters will. And if the nutters don’t get you, the zealots will.

Duck and cover, friends, duck and cover.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Frontal lobe ping pong: Special wingnut edition

Erick Erickson at Red State whacks himself upside the head. Hard.
In NY-23, Conservatives Win

The race has now been called for Democrat Bill Owens.
This is a huge win for conservatives.
“Whaaaa. . . ?” you say.

There are two big victories at work in New York’s 23rd Congressional District.

First, the GOP now must recognize it will either [a] lose without conservatives or [b] will win with conservatives. In 2008, many conservatives sat home instead of voting for John McCain. Now, in NY-23, conservatives rallied and destroyed the Republican candidate the establishment chose.
Not quite sure how long Erickson worked on this paradigm since he clearly forgot about a third possible outcome -- the GOP loses with a conservative -- which is just what happened when Democrat Bill Owens bested Conservative Doug Hoffman and won the seat from New York’s 23rd Congressional District. Owens will be the first Democrat NY-23 sends to Washington since the first term of President Ulysses Grant.

So buck up conservative buckaroos: You might have spitefully broken a 140-year-old electoral streak, but boy did you ream Newt Gingrich and whoever else was on your shit list for the past month.

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Keeping Ala-fuckin-bamans proud… and prematurely dead

US Rep Artur Davis (D-Birmingham) announced
that he will vote against the version of health care reform legislation pending in the U.S. House of Representatives.

All four Alabama House Republicans and all three Alabama House Democrats have vowed to vote against healthcare reform legislation.

Why? Well it’s not because Alabamans are the healthiest and most long-lived Americans, that’s for sure.

Current ranking of Alabama for life expectancy among the 50 states: 48th.

Alabama ranks 8th in childhood death rate.
Alabama ranks 5th in teen death rate.
Alabama ranks 7th in firearms death rate.
Alabama ranks 5th in reported gonorrhea cases.
Alabama ranks 5th in reported syphilis cases.

Finally, Alabama consistently ranks among the worst in the nation in infant mortality -- and the US rate itself is a national disgrace.

*More charts and data available here.

** Mr. N.'s dad is from Ala-fuckin-bama -- that's what he calls it. As soon as he was old enough, he enlisted in the Navy and got Ala-fuckin-out.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Just imagine this as a pumpkin carving

To: Kimberly Daniels, CBN guest columnist
Re: The Danger of Celebrating Halloween




Original column (since deleted by Pat Robertson and CBN) cached here.

(h/t)

All coming up next, but first…

From A Conversation With Gore Vidal.
Q. What are “American values”?
A. Lying and cheating. There’s nothing better.

Q. During the 1970s, Warren Beatty, Jack Nicholson, and producer Robert Evans were celebrated for lifestyles of sexual extravagance.
A. Well, they’re all virgins, every last one of them. I can testify to that. And the last one you mentioned, he’s a super virgin.
##

Neuro-Bush: Smarter than expected but worse than thought.
President Bush’s bold, ebullient personality and bias for action helped bring together Democratic and Republican elites to fundamentally reform American public schools. This may be his greatest legacy. The President’s boldness in Afghanistan seemingly succeeded, though his disdain for details limited the scope of that success.

Finally, on the signature decision of his administration, President Bush’s tendency to make quick decisions, reluctance to admit error, disdain for details and experts, inability to entertain dissenting opinions, and tendency to categorize opponents as enemies, meant that his administration did not sufficiently plan the invasion of Iraq. Further, he failed to systematically review occupation policy even as countless voices both inside and outside of the administration urged such a review. [orig emph]
##

My guy does dead guys better than your guy, nah nah nah nah nah.

The son Dick Cheney never had -- that would be Liz, not Mary -- joined in that most cherished of TV-age political traditions: squabbling over which president’s motives are the purest when honoring fallen soldiers. Disgraceful behavior erupted on all sides.

Folks, generally speaking, if you’re booing, hissing, and name-calling, you’re not remembering the fallen in a respectful manner. Maybe instead of covering mirrors, as observant Jews do during shiva, agitated partisans should just slap some duct tape over their mouths for a few days.
##

Oddly enough, also a well-known weakness of Joe Lieberman.

Advice from veteran pitcher Rube Currie to rookie pitcher Piggie Powell:
You know what their weakness is? A fastball between the eyes.