Saturday, December 31, 2005

Today on Pajamarama -- Special New Year's Eve Mr. Lonelyhearts Edition

Courtesy of the Pajamas Media random Pajamarama blog selector comes: The Idiotarian Savant!

If you think your New Year's Eve plans suck, read how bummed out The Idiotarian Savant is. Does Ann Coulter do pity fucks?
One of the drawbacks about being a single, 40-ish guy is that I always stay home on New Years Eve. That, and the infrequent sex, the assumption by some that because I haven't gotten married, I must be gay (not that there's anything wrong with that), the fact that most of my friends are functioning alcoholics, the realization that my life is never going to get any better...yeah, I admit: I'm drowning in a torrent of clinical depression right now, one that massive quantities of Prozac won't cure. Life sucks.

Going on a year-end cruise has been one way out of the thicket. I don't get to be with friends, either, and the other party-goers are either blue hairs or teenagers, but at least there's festivity everywhere. I don't have to drive home, and the cruiseline is usually generous with the champagne. For me, it's as good as it will get, and I'm only out a month's income.
Cheer up, Idiotarian Savant. After all, you have a lot in common with George Bush at that age -- unmarried, approaching 40, questioned heterosexuality, stalled life plan, surrounded by functioning alcoholics -- and look how things turned out for Dubya. Quit moping around and find yourself a Laura!

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