Saturday, December 31, 2005

Not my first through tenth choices

Lee Duigon, a Christian journalist, comes up with the 10 worst Americans of all time. The list intentionally excludes serial murderers and "the merely loathsome," and Duigon takes guidance from "the Biblical tag attached to Jeroboam I, King of Israel, 'who made Israel to sin' (by setting up idols)."

Which somehow puts in the No. 1 spot — Alfred Kinsey.
I can't think of any one person who did more lasting harm to American than this fraudulent and sometimes criminal "sex researcher," who died from practicing a perversion for which the English language has no word.
Okay, off to a rollicking start here. And continuing the naughty-naughty motif at No. 2 is "the patron saint of unrestricted abortion," Margaret Sanger.

John Dewey earns the No. 3 slot because his "writings on education were the key to turning America's public schools into indoctrination centers for collectivism, atheism, and a sugar-coated totalitarianism." Funny, I don't recall any sugar-coating.

At Nos. 4 and 5 are Thaddeus Stephens and Aaron Burr (b-o-r-i-n-g).

No. 6 is way too inside baseball for me. It's Bishop John Shelby ("symbol of the apostasy") Spong. Whoever Spong is, he's pissed off Duigon in biblical proportions and earned a "Lifetime Achievement award from the Academy of Heresy." Presumably it's framed and suitable for hanging in the vicarage.

Madeline Murray O'Hare comes in at No. 7. Her lucky number, too.

The born-again but nevertheless damned to No. 8 is Jimmy Carter. "Carter continues to do everything in his power to uphold and encourage monsters like Fidel Castro and Kim Jong-Il." Duigon also faults Carter for undermining the Shah of Iran and "saddl[ing] the world with a terrorist mullahcracy." I don't know — seems like Carter should bump Thaddeus or Aaron out of his spot, right?

And here comes the national blowjob at No. 9. Bill Clinton's "lasting legacy is the popularization of oral sex among children."

No. 10 is Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Walter Duranty. Apparently, Duranty was the Judy Miller of his day, if you substituted Josef Stalin for George Bush.

Of note: Jesse Jackson and Jane Fonda received only dishonorable mentions, and Michael Moore was completely shut out.

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