When the sell is broken

“I don’t owe him shit. He really screwed my life up, is how I look at it.”

That’s Joe the Plumber bitching about his ex, John (he made me feel dirty) McCain.

“McCain was trying to use me. I happened to be the face of middle Americans. It was a ploy.”

And that’s how Joe the Plumber -- pity him, he didn’t ask to be born with the face of middle Americans -- came to be forcibly put on board the Straight Talk Express and driven around and around until McCain had no further use for him. Then Joe was forced to write a book about his trauma. And then endorse and cash the advance and royalty checks he got! And then deposit them into his own bank account!!

Those with weaker psyches never would have survived.

Now that the whole sordid McCain business is over, Joe the Plumber, his life forever altered, has found comfort with the few people who still accept him for who he is was will be for the time being: the Tea Partiers.

Like a pulpy faced victim of spousal abuse turned advocate, Joe says it’s his duty to take advantage of the platform he’s been given. Politicians seek his endorsement, a responsibility he doesn’t take lightly.

“We have a series of conversations – 20 to 30 minute conversations – and I grill them. I ask them questions about energy, education – make sure they’re straight.”

Oh, and he’s on the outs with Sarah Palin too, whom he once described as “the real deal.”

Which reminds me, whatever happened to Tito the Builder?