Flooze

Listen up, people: Get your flu shot, or don‘t. I don’t give a ragged filament on a phagocyte’s ass either way. Just don’t tell me why you decided the way you did and, for God’s sake, don’t sneeze on me.

Some poseurs think they’re being all cool, edgy, and self-destructive by proudly playing immunity roulette.

As we all know, there's no better way to show the world that you're truly independent, that you're not some mindless media-controlled zombie, than by doing precisely what Bill Maher tells you to.

Just remember how tragically hip you are as you endure bone-shaking rigors.

Some vaxnoids think that by refusing vaccination they’re cleverly outwitting the government’s evil plan either (1) to kill them with unsafe vaccines or (2) to implant computer nano-chips along with the vaccine.

Just keep remembering the tremendous benefits of your hyper-vigilance as you lower great grandma’s casket. Poor old gal never had a chance, what with your flu and her congestive heart failure.

Still other vaxnoids are, to put it most charitably, completely mental. According to them, not only is the swine flu vaccine unsafe and unfit for human use, but the oppressive Obama regime is refusing to distribute it to Red States.

That's right: If you didn't vote for Obama, you will be spared injection with Obama's poisonous flu vaccine....