81 cans of Spam

Mr. Nearing reports: At the supermarket checkout, the guy in front of him, in his sixties and a few ounces shy of the morbidly obese category, is buying nothing but Spam. Eighty-one cans of Spam in all. Mr. N. can’t resist and jokingly asks the guy, “Stocking up the bomb shelter?” Spam guy responds, “Well, Obama has no experience. We’re gonna get bombed.”

Mr. N., who monitors Rush and Hannity and all those other wankers, makes the connection. “That’s right. Glenn Beck was talking about that the other day.”

Spam guy’s face lights up; he thinks he’s found a compatriot and leaves the store with a smile on his face. When he’s safely out of earshot, the teenaged cashier starts singing, We eat ham and jam and spam a lot….

Holy Hormel! Poor Spam guy. The cholesterol’s gonna kill him before any bomb does.