Certifiable! The real truth behind America’s first Kenyan-born, madrassah-schooled, Malcolm X-love child president

Much as I try to respect (okay, tolerate) other people’s phobias because I am not phobia-free myself, I try to respect (okay, completely tune out) other people’s conspiracy theories because I am not conspiracy theory-free myself.

But damn.

All these mutating and sometimes conflicting theories about Barack Obama‘s birth location, citizenship status, parentage (Malcolm X is a nice touch but double-ups on Obama’s claim to US citizenship), and religious affiliation make me want to kick some shins (Jerome Corsi’s hairy tibias would be a good start).

Don’t be surprised if one or more whackjob Republican electors assembled for the Electoral College challenge Obama’s status as a natural born citizen. The real surprise would be if Obama’s eligibility to serve as president went unchallenged.

This is America, the land of impossible and impossibly complicated conspiracy theories. Does it matter if the authenticity of Obama’s birth certificate has been confirmed several times over by people with the legal authority to make such declarations?

Fuck no.

About one third of the American public believe that the US government had a passive if not an active role in the 9/11 attacks. Some of that one third believe, among other things, that the Twin Towers collapsed because of a controlled implosion; that the Pentagon was hit by a missile, not a plane, and that the 757 jet parts strewn all over the Pentagon lawn were dropped by conspirators from a circling C-130; and that the “jets” that crashed into the Twin Towers were not “real” but were sophisticated holograms whose appearance was timed to coincide with the controlled demolition of the buildings.

Compared with that, tweaking a few vital records in Hawaii, Kenya, Indonesia, and the US Department of State is mere child’s play.