Tuesday, October 16, 2007

The perils of being a post-born American

It seems straightforward enough: Don’t look for logic where you’ll never find it. For example, don’t look for the logic in any of the policy positions held by Republican Values Voters regarding, well, life.

Every blastocyst is sacred and has a cosmic right to be born. After that, in America at least, you’re on your own kid.

Once the cord has been cut and the afterbirth has been expelled, the post-born American loses that cosmic right to a life. That’s strictly reserved for one’s pre-born siblings. The post-born American has no right to a life, no right to a life as free of illness and disease as modern medicine can provide, no right to a life that’s even worth living.

Does this seem logically or internally consistent? Doesn’t matter.

Republican Values Voters are in thrall to two irreconcilable obsessions: one focuses on the sanctity and glorious untaintedness of pre-born life, which must be allowed to proceed to post-born status at all costs, even the cost of the mother‘s life; the other obsession focuses on the sickening horror and evil of government “hand-outs” to tainted post-born Americans in need, even Americans who are just seconds old.

Why do Republican Values Voters believe it is evil and wicked for a government of the people to actually use the people’s money to help its own people, including people who are neighbors, friends, and family members?

I don’ know, it’s their obsession not mine.

Fundamentally, the post-born American has only the following rights, assuming the requisite secondary sex characteristics have been acquired: the right to bear arms; the right to challenge inaccuracies in his/her credit score; and, if so motivated, the right to vote.

Almost forgot. The post-born American has one more right: the right to a pro-rated reduction on his/her cable bill for a non–power outage-related loss of cable service that exceeds three hours.

That’s it, folks. Don’t expect anything else while Republican Values Voters still work ritual incantations over Congress.

UPDATE For lots more fun, check out Sad Freaks of the Nation (2X) at WhiskeyFire.

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