Pairings

Our neurosyphilitic president came into office unable to reliably match plural verbs with plural subjects -- “Is our children learning?” -- and will be leaving office unable to reliably form irregular plural nouns -- “Childrens do learn.”

Of course, childrens without healthcare do gets sick and do dies, but to stop this would be commie-ism.

Meanwhile, Congress is holding two rent parties, one for Iraq ($190 billion) and one for the US (blank check, so far) and trying to negotiate a new home equity line of credit -- because $8.965 trillion just doesn‘t go as far as it used to.

And our brave FDA banned donor sperm from all European countries with exposure to mad cow disease -- even though there’s absolutely no evidence that the disease can be transmitted in human semen -- while no one seems to have bothered checking for lead, a known evildoer, in millions of imported toys.