Thursday, August 16, 2007

A cyber station wagon full of nuns

“In a court of law, you can't beat a station wagon full of nuns." —from the Rabinowitz, Rabinowitz & Rabinowitz episode of "All in the Family"

Q. Does the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) have ties to terrorists?
A. I don't know.

Q. Is Townhall columnist Mike Adams an incredible asshole?
A. Absolutely.

It seems that Dr. Adams, who the TOON Network reports is a professor of criminology, may be in a bit of trouble with the lawyer and the law firm that he so enthusiastically encouraged his readers to phone, fax, and email. The lawyer, Joseph Sandler, represents CAIR. Reason enough, in Adams' universe, to maliciously disrupt the business of Sandler, Rieff & Young.

Here's Adams' list of instructions; I've eliminated the phone and email info for obvious reasons.
[P]lease join me in the fight against Muslim censors (and the lawyers who love them) by taking the time to do at least one of four things today:

1. Write Joseph E. Sandler (XXXXXXXXX) and tell him to stop helping Muslim extremists wage a Jihad against the First Amendment in the United States of America.

2. Call Joseph E. Sandler (XXX-XXX-XXXX) and tell him to stop helping Muslim extremists wage a Jihad against the First Amendment in the United States of America.

3. Fax a Xerox copy of the First Amendment to Sandler, Reiff & Young at XXX-XXX-XXXX.

4. Fax a Xerox copy of your extended middle finger to Sandler, Reiff & Young at XXX-XXX-XXXX.

I plan to follow option #4. And I also plan to write about this incident in my weekly internet column.
Well, all the Pugsleys in Adams' family did just that—some did even more than that, if you can believe boasts about faxing photocopies of butt cheeks and emailing digital flipped birds. No data are yet available about the exact ratio of faxed copies of the First Amendment to faxed copies of extended middle fingers and butt cheeks. Perhaps it will come out at some future trial—
We [S,R&Y] have received hundreds of phone calls and emails, many of which are virulently racist and/or obscene and several of which are threatening. This afternoon in specific response to your request, an anonymous individual has jammed our phones, i.e., set a recording to send thousands of repeat calls to our telephone number. You are undoubtedly aware that the latter is a federal criminal offense. We are turning this matter over to the authorities. I request that you immediately pull down from your site the specific request that individuals make harassing phone calls, send harassing faxes and send harassing e-mails to this law firm.
But Adams being Adams—you know, the attention-seeking goof who wore a burka to a faculty reception—is not backing down. In fact, he reprinted all the contact information in a follow-up column.

I hope that Townhall has a generous personal liability policy for him. No doubt there's a perky Elle Woods at Sandler, Rieff & Young who could win this case in between manicures, but I really hope there's an out-of-court settlement. A court case would only mean publicity and an appearance on Bill O'Reilly—and that's what Adams lusts after.

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