Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Bonsai Bush

Why suffer through the agony of a Bush speech and press conference -- syllables spasming off the presidential uvula, all those irritating fricatives and smarmy labials. Read Bonsai Bush instead. Really, why waste any more time than you have to on this prepackaged bullshit?

This is the miniaturization of yesterday's Rose Garden squint-a-thon.

On nominating Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court

Harriet's the bestest. Well, at least after John Roberts. We go way back. No, not that far back. After my drinking days. No litmus test. Never shoot the breeze about abortion. No cronyism, even though she looks like a crone.

On the pending expiration of parts of the Patriot Act

Reauthorize or your dog dies from playing in anthrax-dusted dog runs. Reauthorize or thousands will die, maybe this time in The Mall of America.

On funding the Katrina and Rita reconstruction

Grover Norquist is busy red-lining the "offset" programs. Grandma Millie's gonna have to buy a pill splitter.

On the sudden downgrading of battle-ready Iraqi battalions from three to one

The answer is, there is progress, positive progress.

On explaining to the American people how he's planning to pay for the budget deficit, the cost of the war, and the cost of Katrina

Let me remind people that we are at war.

On what would happen if anybody in the Bush administration is indicted over the Plame outing

I'm not going to talk about it.

On being asked if he'd like to see Roe v. Wade overturned


On being asked if he's still a conservative

Am I what?

On being asked how he would bridge the divide of poverty and race in this country beyond economics and home ownership

I don't think you can divorce bridging divides from ownership.

On being asked how much political capital he has left


No comments: