Iraq is to _____ as shit is to a fan.

The Iraq war (or as the Brits say, the war on Iraq) is turning into one prolonged search for analogies. It's the SAT question from hell: Iraq is to ______ as shit is to a fan.

Of course, there are the historical comparisons: Iraq is like Vietnam, the Boer War, the US Civil War, Yugoslavia, the French in Algeria, the Palestinian intifada, and a few others:

Wow. I didn't realize Iraq was so ginormous a war!

President Bush compared the fight against terrorism to both world wars and other great conflicts of the 20th century as he tried to reassure an increasingly skeptical public on Monday to support U.S. military involvement in Iraq.

So, Iraq is like both world wars, plus Korea, plus Viet Nam (both the French and American editions), plus the Falkland Islands, plus Grenada, plus the Gulf War, plus Kosovo, plus the Spanish-American War ... combined! Or something like that. [Daily Kos]

And, for reasons known only to himself, Dennis Miller has decided that "Iraq is like East Korea."

Then, there is the opposite approach, as typified by Norbizness: "Why say 'Iraq is like Vietnam' when 'Iraq is just fucked up' is much easier? Plus, true analogies involve research and critical thinking."

I tend to agree. So let's forgo the historical comparisons and go straight to the more creative ones….

__Right now, by any measure you can use, metric, standard or cubit, the situation in Iraq is like the Keystone Cops meet Apocalypse Now. #

__Iraq is like a Satanic obstacle course. #

__Iraq is like a money pit except with dead bodies. #

__Bringing democracy to Iraq is like trying to tame a dog with rabies by beating the shit out of it. #

__Iraq is like a nuclear weapon that is already fully armed, and the countdown to detonation begins when parliament receives word on the (failed) state of the draft constitution. #

__Faux [FOX News] thinks Iraq is like the land of the Hobbits (before the scouring of the Shire) while the rest of the world knows it looks more like the Mountain of Doom! #

__Iraq is like… well it’s like the world’s biggest slush fund, except it’s on fire. #

__We already know Iraq is like Nevada-- mostly government air bases and desert--I hear Bally and Halliburton are combining on a casino deal in Baghdad.#

__Being in Iraq is like creeping around inside someone else's migraine. #

__Iraq is like a firm that is putting a business together for the first time, and, as we know, 70 percent of all new businesses fail. #

__The war in Iraq is like charity. It's wonderful that we're helping the Iraqis set up the theocracy of their choosing (oh, wait, was that too sarcastic?). #

__Asking if Iraq is like Vietnam is similar to asking if Equador is like Finland." #

__Iraq is like one of those Internet start-ups multinationals ventured into during the late 90s. After a while, you realize you made a mistake, cut your losses, and get out. #

__The situation in Iraq is like diving off a diving board without knowing if there is any water in the pool. #

__Expecting to build a stable democracy in Iraq is like expecting to build a skyscraper in a swamp. #

__Iraq is like a laboratory; bring an ideological tendency and let's see the result it brings. #

__Iraq is like the wild, wild, wild West, but with assault rifles and plastic explosives instead of six-shooters. #

__For any oil company, being in Iraq is like being a kid in FAO Schwarz.#

__Iraq is like the stone thrown into the pool. #

__Iraq is like a giant merger and acquisition … a difficult one. #

__Working in Iraq is like playing the lottery -- only in this case, you pray that your number does not come up. #