Setting the spin cycle to full-tilt bug fuck

Some of the first-tier wingnuts are really outdoing themselves on the Plame leak. We're going to have to establish another tier, one with bars on the windows and triple barrel-bolt locks on the doors. Maybe some soft padding on the walls and floor.

This is the full-tilt bug fuck set-up:

If the Special Prosecutor (Fitzgerald) in the Plame leak investigation indicts anybody in the Bush Administration, the fix is in.

If Fitzgerald indicts anybody in the media friendly to the Bush Administration, the fix is in.

If Fitzgerald indicts nobody, the fix is in.

If Fitzgerald indicts Valerie Plame and Joe Wilson for perjury, espionage, treason, spitting on the blessed image of the virgin Bush, and appearing in a Vanity Fair photo spread, then he's done his job right.

Just take a quick look at David Horowitz's column: Prosecute Plame: More Treachery in the War at Home.

I would say pay attention to the first three or four paragraphs, but it would be more accurate to say pay attention to the first clumps of random letter sequences and punctuation marks that define the white spaces because there is no logic -- and no fact-checking -- in this cyber-vomitus.

In Horowitz's writing, both time and space cease to exist. His use of past and present verb tenses makes no sense in relation to the facts (yes, God, actual facts) of who went where and when, who asked what and why, and who said what and where and when and to whom. At times you can't even tell which war he's referring to. Is it the war on terror? The war in Afghanistan? The war in Iraq? Or is it just the grand and glorious Perpetual War That Always Was and Always Will Be.

So now we know a lot of the facts. In the midst of a war, a rogue CIA employee named Valerie Plame set out to sabotage the President's war policy -- a policy ratified by both political parties and both houses of Congress. To do this she sent her husband on a mission to Niger to discredit the President's statement that Saddam Hussein was seeking uranium there -- in other words to discredit a justification for the war in which Americans were continuing to die.

Forget for a moment the treasonous nature of an action designed to undermine a duly arrived at war policy and to destroy the credibility of the commander-in-chief while this nation's soldiers were in harm's way. The mere act of sending a relative on a mission like this was illegal under existing statutes for someone in Plame's position.

That's kind of funny: forget the treason, it's the nepotism that really hurts.

Her husband, Joseph Wilson, went off to Niger, did no investigation and came back and lied about what he had allegedly discovered. The bi-partisan 9/11 commission concluded that Wilson's claims were false -- a year and half after the damage the Plame-Wilson team intended was already done. [emph added]

The Plame-Wilson lie was designed to make the President look like a liar and the nation's democratically and legally arrived at war policy a fraud. This came right at the climax of anti-war primary campaign of Howard Dean in July 2003, just three months after the fall of Baghdad and when the terrorist counter-attack had already begun…. The Plame-Wilson lies … undermine[d] the authority of the commander-in-chief in the eyes of the American people and before the entire world. No psychological warfare campaign ever conducted by an enemy against the United States has been as effetive [sic] as this one.

Holy shit! Now, I'm not even going to try to untangle this mess, including Plame's treasonous bitch-succubus time-traveling ability to discredit a president's utterances before he even utters. But surely Horowitz doesn't mean The 9/11 Commission Report: The Final Report of the National Commission on Terrorist Attacks Upon the United States.

I have to assume he means either the White House-appointed Commission on the Intelligence Capabilities of the United States Regarding Weapons of Mass Destruction [the Robb-Silberman commission], which had nothing nasty to say about Wilson; or the Senate's Report on the U.S. Intelligence Community's Pre-War Intelligence Assessment on Iraq [the Roberts-Rockefeller commission], which also had nothing nasty to say about Wilson.

Now, there was a partisan addendum to the Roberts-Rockefeller report, written by Republicans Roberts, Hatch, and Bond. That addendum had to do with, yes, the wifey issue, and also Wilson's consideration of public information in his Niger assessment. Maybe that's what Horowitz is referring to.

But, hey, I'm just the reader of his crap -- why should I have to work so hard to try to figure this out?

Somehow, though, I doubt the wingnuts put much faith in these reports anyway since they don't accuse Plame and Wilson of perjury, espionage, treason, spitting on the blessed image of the virgin Bush, and appearing in a Vanity Fair photo spread. Nor, of course, do they call for their summary execution.

I know, I know. Silly of me to quibble over verb tenses and commission report citations when clearly it's full-tilt bug fucking season. I just have to wait it out until all the bugs have been squashed.