Duh Roundup (Issue No. 5514)

"Might there be something wrong with protocols that render the president unnecessary when the alarm is going off at his house?" -- Scott McClellan gets zinged over his uninformed boss' uninterrupted bike ride in a park while parts of D.C. were evacuated under a code red terrorist alert.
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“Male did not use any force, but he did not use foreplay either.” -- From Jennifer Wilbanks' description of her make-believe kidnapper/rapist. He also was 5 feet 9 inches, had a medium build, short hair, and rotten teeth, and spoke Spanish.
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Bob Novak on "Capital Gang," giving us the steel-trap analysis we've come to expect: "I guarantee you, Lyndon Johnson and Harry Truman, after they were reelected -- I don't care what the [poll] numbers were, they were much lower [Bush's].
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"So don't trust my judgment on this alone." -- Our president in a stunning moment of honesty during one of his Bunco Bush Traveling All-Stars and Retirement Scammers stops in Mississippi.
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Scott McClellan as the hapless substitute teacher who gets goofed on:

MR. McCLELLAN: Wait, are we jumping subjects now?
Q No, I've got one more.
MR. McCLELLAN: Ed Chen. Who's in your seat?
Q Evildoers.

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"Everything we thought we knew about the [Iraqi] insurgency obviously is flawed." -- Judith Kipper of the Council on Foreign Relations, pointing out the obvious for the oblivious.
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"I'll tell you, though, when the president got into President Putin's vintage car to drive. . . . Well, we all held our breath, but the president wasn't going to have to drive a stick shift or something like that." -- Condi Rice revealing a little something about Bush's driving skills.
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Sen. Bill Frist -- who likes to claim that the "filibuster is nothing less than a formula for tyranny by the minority" -- gets smacked in the face with a copy of the Constitution:

SEN. BYRD: I ask the Senator from Tennessee, I ask any Senator to respond to that question. Does this Constitution accord to each nominee an up-or-down vote on the Senate floor?
SEN. FRIST: The question: Does the Constitution say that every nominee of the President deserves an up-or-down vote. And the ABC is - the answer is: no, the language is not there.

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