Monday, June 14, 2010


Sarah Palin titles her latest Facebook post, Fuel America with Terrorist-Tarred Oil Instead of Drilling Our Own, Baby?

From there it goes downhill.

Simple Sarah wants a simple answer to her simple question: Why won’t terrorist cock-sucking liberal Democrats unleash the full glorious sheen of America’s “safe, warehoused onshore and shallow water [!] reserves waiting for permission to be extracted” from places like, you know, the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge and, oh, Miami Beach.

That’s rather sweet: The oil reserves are just biding their time until a cruel government bureaucracy sets them free from the prison of their geological “warehouses.” No one anthropomorphizes crude oil better than Sarah Palin.
Shoot, I must have lived such a doggoned sheltered life as a normal, independent American up there in the Last Frontier, schooled with only public education and a lowly state university degree, because obviously I haven’t learned enough to dismiss common sense (a prerequisite for power in Washington these days).

Help me out, friends! Help someone like me – and the majority of Americans – understand why we would ever kowtow and bow to foreign regimes that hate us, instead of doing all we can to starve the beast of terrorism in our plight for security, prosperity, and peace.
Our plight for security, prosperity, and peace?

Close enough for the public-schooled and recently augmented, I guess.

1 comment:

Jim Wetzel said...

Yes, that "plight" was excellent, wasn't it?

I also enjoyed:

why we would ever kowtow and bow

Once one has kowtowed, what's the big deal about merely bowing?

Finally, although I hate myself for asking: is she actually part silicone? (Or is it saline these days?)