Monday, September 08, 2008

Things I just learned I didn’t know: Special flag-o-rama edition

This is an American flag, and as such it should be ceremonially burned or buried at the end of its useful life. If you can figure how to do this without burning or burying your computer, please let me know.

I’m not making this up. This is according to the Flag Code, which states that a flag is a flag or anything "by which the average person seeing the same without deliberation may believe the same to represent the flag." I checked all this out after the DNC versus RNC US flag fracas got me wondering: By definition, when does an object become a US flag? Well, if you’re like me and thought a flag was a piece of woven cloth 3 x 5 feet or larger, you’re wrong.

Thus, at the end of their useful lives, all those flag lapel pins, magnetic flags, military flag patches, flag bumper stickers, flag key chains, flag ties, flag T shirts, flag dew-rags, flag cake decorations, crepe paper flags, flag postage stamps, the animated flag in this post, all other flag doodads, and, yes, actual flags that had been flown at the top of flag poles should be taken to the local VFW or American Legion chapter, Elks Lodge, or Knights of Columbus for the appropriate burning/burial ceremony.

Life just got that much more complicated.

Also of note: There is only one US flag that is never flown at half-mast. It’s the one on the Moon.

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