Basically, Kenny, you're Keanu Reeves.

In case everyone else is at a loss for words in describing the situation in Iraq, Brig Gen Carter Ham of the Joint Chiefs of Staff gives us his preferred adjective. Iraq is "contentious."

A contentious war. That's one for the history books.

That was the money quote from his DOD press briefing yesterday. Ham also had this announcement.

Recently about 1,500 soldiers of the Army's 2nd Brigade, 1st Armored Division, deployed from Kuwait into western Iraq to conduct operations. This is precisely why this force has been stationed in Kuwait -- to provide General Casey and General Chiarelli with a flexible force that could be employed when the tactical situations so dictate.

I think it's safe to assume that "conduct operations" is mil-speak for "blood-letting" and "when the tactical situations so dictate" is mil-speak for "aww fuck."

Meanwhile, on the civilian propaganda channel, FOXNews' Neil Cavuto once again trotted out those questionable deaths per 100,000 population stats to show how Iraq and Baghdad are safer than just about every major city in the United States, including DC.

Now I had been planning to visit the National Art Gallery until I heard Cavuto say that I'm more likely to get blown up or tied up with electrical wire and shot in the head in DC than in Iraq. Perhaps it would be safer to take a countrywide road tour of freshly painted Iraqi schoolhouses instead, I thought. But then Cavuto's guest statistician — visions of liability suits dancing in his head — strongly advised against that.

Damn.