Bowling for Columbine, wrestling for Khandahar

In "American Manhood Will Prevail," W. Thomas Smith, Jr, dials the rhetoric back to 1955 and asks

Are we—in the land of excess and deliberately dumbed-down masculinity—still turning good boys into great men who can counter the incalculable numbers of boys in other parts of the world who are simultaneously being transformed into terrorists?

Do you have any doubts about how he'll answer?

You bet.

And what is Smith's evidence? Sports. Middle school and high school sports. Oh God, let the cannon fodderization begin.

The proof, I’ve discovered, can be found in almost any middle or high school gym or stadium on weeknights during wrestling or football season.

There you will find boys like my 14-year-old nephew, William Maxwell Fowler, who are not succumbing to American excess, instant gratification, materialism, and politically correct gender-norming.

Poor William Maxwell Fowler. His Uncle Dubya Thomas has let the nation know that unless Fowler enlists on his 18th birthday, the boy officially will be deemed a wuss, a pussy, and not "the biggest stick."

He may be a good propagandist for the war machine, but Dubya Thomas is a terrible uncle.

And just so you know, girls are not allowed to join the club.

It’s also about the unique surge of euphoria found only in single and team combat, and a willing acceptance of blood and tears, regular features of full-contact sports. Finally, it’s about the seemingly contradictory experiences of primal pleasure and suffering, an odd mix known only to men.

Plus there's what noted sexologist and gender authority Kate O'Beirne says:

“Good men protect and defend women in the face of a physical threat,” writes Kate O’Beirne in Women Who Make the World Worse. “If men in uniform are going to be sex blind when it comes to protecting their comrades, American mothers will have to get to work instructing their sons that it’s okay to hit girls.”

Apparently American mothers currently do not have to get to work instructing their sons that it's okay to bomb women and children.

Rest assured, America: We will prevail in the global war on terror not because of the bold and brilliant visions of George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld (which is just as well) but because we've got organized sports.

In the end, the American boys will win. The reasoning is simple: Participation in organized sports is on the rise. Full-contact sports like wrestling, football, even boxing (though the latter is not nearly as prevalent as it once was) builds character. And character prevails in ballgames, boardrooms, and on the battlefield.

Go Team USA, Inc.

*In 1998, Eric Harris attempted to enlist in the Marines but was turned down because he was taking the prescription drug Luvox for anger management. It's interesting to speculate whether the US military, with its newly relaxed enlistment criteria, would welcome Eric Harris today.