Penger og kjønn, kjønn og penger

Thomas E. Brewton isn't waving and cheerily wishing "Ha en hyggelig dag" to Norwegians. No, he's gone full-tilt bug-fuck in Scandinavia: Moral Wasteland.

The self-righteous Norwegians, no longer having a moral compass, have hired a philosopher to tell them what to do. Any people who could award the Nobel Peace Prize to Yasser Arafat are so debauched by anti-religious, secular materialism that recognizing the difference between good and evil is beyond their capacities.

Yikes. What triggered this jag? This:

The Wall Street Journal's December 1, 2005, edition reports that Norway, "Home to the Nobel Peace Prize and a plethora of human rights and peace groups..." has hired a professional philosopher to tell them what to do with the windfall revenues accruing from Norway's stake in North Sea oil production.

Filthy Norwegian bastards! Nothing could be a greater affront to God than a country that not only redistributes legally acquired wealth among its people and safeguards its revenues for future generations but also seeks to make "ethical" investments.

Norway pumped its first crude to markets in the 1970s and now produces over three million barrels a day. Taxes and fees paid by oil companies, coupled with dividends from Statoil ASA, an oil company majority-owned by the state, are expected this year to pump about $42 billion into government coffers. Some of it goes to finance the state budget, but most goes into the Petroleum Fund.

The Petroleum Fund was developed to protect Norway's oil wealth for future generations, and it is one of the world's largest pools of investment capital.

Of course, the professional philosopher does not tell anyone what to do. But that's an insignificant detail to Brewton. He's got more important things on his mind -- sex. Especially hot Scandinavian sex.

Scandinavian countries [have sunk] into the cesspool of socialism's secular materialism. Sexual promiscuity, anti-Christian attitudes, sloth, and welfare-state dependency are synonyms for what passes as personal character in these Baltic nations. Scandinavian parents are happy to see their children experimenting with sexual promiscuity. After all, to the "pure of heart" socialist, there is no right or wrong.

I don't know if Scandinavian kids are experimenting with sexual promiscuity (or whether their parents are happy about it). But it is well documented that when it comes to teenage pregnancy and abortion rates, American kids certainly outfuck the Scandinavians by an astonishing margin. (Surely the fault of our highly competitive nature.)

I must confess: the temptation is strong. Given our national debt, our national deficit, our high energy prices, and the endless war on Christmas, Norway sounds like a great place to be right now.

You got your personal oil windfall profits. You got hot, virtually pregnancy-free sexual experimentation going on all over the place — and in rooms where the thermostat's not turned down. And you got your Petroleum Fund tended over by a nice in-house ethicist who wears Snoopy socks.

As cesspools of socialist secular materialism go, it sounds pretty damn good.

*Penger og kjønn, kjønn og penger means "money and sex, sex and money" in Norwegian. Ha en hyggelig dag means "have a nice day."