Ten Reasons Why Liberals Can't Stand ThanksgivingWho wants to break the news to Mark that Thanksgiving is not a uniquely American holiday and that several other countries celebrate a national day of thanksgiving?
1. Millions of dead babies is a civil right, but millions of dead turkeys is a holocaust.
2. Pilgrims were Christian fundamentalists.
3. Having a national holiday to thank God for our blessings violates the separation of church and state.
4. Thanksgiving is a uniquely American holiday, and anything American has got to be bad.
5. If all the money people selfishly spend to gorge themselves on Thanksgiving was instead confiscated by the government and given to the poor, what a better world this would be.
6. Families travelling by car and plane to visit relatives drastically increases pollution levels, and therefore hastens global warming and world-wide climactic catastrophe.
7. In our sexist society, women are forced into the kitchen to cook and clean for hours while men watch football and drink beer.
8. None of the Pilgrims were black, gay, or had abortions.
9. Why celebrate the arrival of the white man, who eventually stole the continent from the peaceful, environmentally friendly Indians?
10. Thanksgiving takes attention away from the UN's International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, on November 25.
See, if Mark were less of a mono-culturalist, he'd know this.
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