SCRIPTOIDS: Always look on the bright side of Kurdistan

This one's just so jam-packed with pronouncements, stereotypes, freeze-dried talking points, and non-sequiturs that it brings tears to my eyes, along with the ragweed. It's "Counting on unhappiness: The leftist politics of bad news," by John Reynolds.

Right off, Reynolds declares that Bush's poll numbers are going down because people are irritated. Why are they so irritated? Reynolds theorizes:

Gas prices are up. Iraq is complicated. Summer is over and school is starting soon. The Yankees are playing well enough to make the play offs. Football has not started yet.

Oops. He forgot to add that the new fall TV schedule hasn't kicked in yet, so most of us are just bored. Bored and cranky.

And you know what's really wrong with Democrats? Well, as Republicans never tire of saying, Democrats are nothing but kinkily gleeful relishers of defeatism.

The problem with the Democrat strategy is it relies on discontent turning into hatred. Democrats hate the President and they hate the War They have no plans for winning it and most of the sensible ones admit that they would do just about what the President is doing.

See, a skillful writer, or a less skillful writer with a good editor, would have left it there. But Reynolds pushes too far:

A few say they would not have gone in the first place, but what good does that do America now?

Hmm. Do I detect a whiff of regret?

As for going to Iraq in the first place, what were the options?

Now, don't laugh, because this is just off the top of my head: not going into Iraq in the first place? That would have been an option. Seems to have worked out pretty good for the French, the Germans, the Russians, and a few other countries.

And it's clear to Reynolds that while Democrats have no strategies and no plans, they do have a direction -- straight to EuroDisney!

The radical edge of the Democrat Party, increasingly dominant, would take America in the direction of Western Europe. How is Western Europe doing? Gas is more expensive there. It is at least double what it costs in the US. Standards of living are lower. Health care is free, but anyone who can afford it comes to the United States for cutting edge care.

Makes a patriot proud to know that the hearses driving all those Americans who die from inadequate health care will have fuel tanks topped off with comparatively cheap gasoline. Such a comfort for the families and friends left behind, too.

Americans may be unhappy, but we are glad, thank you very much, not to be in the Euro-zone.

We are? Gee, at the start of Reynolds' column, we Americans were just irritated. Several paragraphs later, and now we're unhappy -- and we haven't even to come to the imminent threat that is Hillary Clinton.

A Clinton presidency would not bring large-scale policy changes on the War nor would gas prices magically go down. Clinton has no new ideas to win the War, because the President is already winning it. It is just hard work.

Okay, take your time and wrap your head around that logic. Or just snicker -- it's faster.

And don't forget that a Clinton presidency would: instantly transform America into Western Europe (what, 4-week vacations and crunchy baguettes?); extend the culture of death (which, curiously, doesn't encompass bungled wars of choice); encourage leftist social experimentation with children and marriage (not to be construed as child marriage); and, worst of all dammit, bring Bill Clinton -- and his annoying habit of speaking in complete sentences -- back into the news.