Why wait? -- Now's the perfect time.

Over the past decade or so, I've become increasingly convinced that Americans -- intentionally or not -- excel at driving each other crazy. And now there's scientific proof:

Most Will Be Mentally Ill at Some Point, Study Says

The investigators arranged face-to-face interviews with a broad cross section of 9,282 Americans ages 18 and over, and the interviewers asked the participants whether they had experienced periods of extended sadness, alcohol or drug abuse, irrational fears or a host of other symptoms. [emph added]

The study was funded by those with the most to gain by having most Americans mentally ill most of the time, so feel free to dispute the findings. But I stand firm.

I also think the investigators should have added questions about Viagra addiction, breast and butt implants, excessive credit card debt, serial mortgage refinancing, 3-figure monthly cable and cell phone bills, steady viewing of FOX News and reality TV, Hummer and SUV ownership, and obsessive blogging -- but then again, I'm not a mental health professional.

What's really frightening is that the unraveling starts early in life and continues into the full flower of American adulthood, when we can drive and crash cars, buy and use guns, and vote extremely inappropriate people into high office.