Tax day supplemental

In need of some joyously wallet-felt propaganda? Check out the FreedomWorks website.

Today, co-chair Dick Armey has a special tax day message, "This Tax Day: Let's Scrap the Code! It's Time to End This Ridiculous Tax System Once and for All."

"Scrap the code" is code for flat tax, but you probably guessed that already. Still, I'm confused about the "this tax day" part. Is Dick suggesting that I pay my 2004 taxes using his proposed flat tax? (I'm not that brave.) Or is he suggesting that all in one day, April 15, 2005 -- a Friday no less, the US House and Senate can design, propose, debate, vote on, and pass a federal flat tax? Typically, it takes them longer than that to rename large objects after Ronald Reagan.

Dick lists the four key benefits of a flat tax: it's simple, honest, fair, and flat, the last being redundant but necessary for symmetry.

• Simple: Under a Flat Tax system, your tax form is the size of a postcard. You just take your income, subtract your personal deduction, multiply by one low rate, and send it in! This would save our economy an estimated $125 billion in compliance costs.

Oh the sweet siren song of the postcard tax return. Just envision a colorful photo montage -- Greetings to the IRS! -- on the front. Will the postcard be postage-paid, because that could be the deal-clincher for a lot of people.

• Honest: The current code taxes the same income three, four, or even five times. This creates hidden costs—often in the form of higher prices—that Americans never see. A Flat Tax system would let every taxpayer know exactly how much the government is taking from them.

I can just hear my mentor-in-reverse, the late Sir Humphrey Appleby, screaming "Good God no. You cannot let people know how much the government is actually taking them for."

Of course, I respectfully disagree with Sir Humphrey. In fact, I would extend this "honest" pledge to its logical and moral conclusion: every taxpayer would get an annual printout detailing to the penny how much he or she has personally funded, let's say, the war in Iraq, the use of Air Force One for the Social Security bamboozapalooza tour, abstinence-only government websites, White House press briefing security checks for Jeff Gannon, Congressional intervention in the Terri Schiavo case, and other goodies.

• Fair: Under our current system, groups with the power and money to lobby government get special exemptions, and regular taxpayers foot the bill. A Flat Tax system would treat all Americans equally, instead of privileging special interests in Washington.

Done laughing yet? I know. We shouldn't have to take that from a guy shilling for the privileged special interests in Washington. I guess not all definitions of "equally" are created equal.

• Flat: A Flat Tax code would tax all income at one low rate. That is simple to administer, and fundamentally fair—everyone pays the same rate and hard work and success aren’t punished.

I guess it's not safe to assume that a Flat Tax code would be flat unless it's spelled out as a separate item; you can never be too sure about these things. What's curious though is that the promise the code would be "fair" has now wriggled into being "fundamentally fair." Hmmm.