Armstrong Williams isn't getting any.

Sex (Townhall.com)
By Armstrong Williams

One of the greatest challenges in my life is the struggle to abstain from premarital sex. It is not easy.

God Almighty, Williams, just be thankful that you live in a country where some people consider not bumping uglies before marriage a major life struggle worthy of paid public discourse. Go ahead and indulge your vanity. Elsewhere on the planet, people thank the Almighty for making it through another day without being blasted apart by car bombs, devoured by bacteria, or starved by warlords.

And yet it is Armstrong Williams who is triumphant (as far as we know).