Premature ejectulation (second stage)

Tony Blankley
Originally uploaded by Grace Nearing.

Hardball With Chris Matthews (MSNC)

Following Chuck Todd's daffy analysis, Chris Matthews turns to the ever-demure Tony Blankley.

MATTHEWS: Tony, there's no one to the left of Hillary Clinton. I'm talking about the Hillary Clinton who will be presented to us.
TONY BLANKLEY, EDITORIAL PAGE EDITOR, THE WASHINGTON TIMES: No.
I think Hillary has been moving to the right on immigration, tonally on abortion.

"Tonally on abortion"! Oh those Brits -- they're so deft.

BLANKLEY: She went on the Armed Services Committee. She's now supporting the war in Iraq.
(CROSSTALK)
MATTHEWS: She backed the war from the beginning.
(CROSSTALK)
BLANKLEY: Yes, I know, but she is being optimistic in her rhetoric. So I think...
MATTHEWS: Pre-positioning her conversion.
BLANKLEY: I can't look into her soul.

Blankley's playing the reluctant wallflower at the orgy here, but only for a few seconds. Then he dives right in.

BLANKLEY: My guess would be repositioning, but I don't want to prejudge.

He doesn't want to prejudge? That's absurd! The essence of punditry is to prejudge relentlessly and to pretend to look into people's souls. If not, then what do pundits have to discuss? Reality? Never. Reality only gums up the works. So they babbel on. Or, in this case, they psychobabbel on.

MATTHEWS: What happened to Al Gore?....
BLANKLEY: If you want a little psychobabble, I'll give it to you.
MATTHEWS: I like that.
BLANKLEY: I think he was -- he was a guy who, from the time he was born, was being groomed for president. He was proper. He combed his hair neatly.
MATTHEWS: Right.
BLANKLEY: He kept his weight down. He did everything he was supposed to do. And then he lost. And then he lost it and he thought, I'm going to be me. And me is this kind of goofy left-wing guy calling the president a betrayer.
MATTHEWS: Yes.
BLANKLEY: And by his performance in 2004, he precluded being a serious candidate.

Wasn't that neat and tidy? We like out pundit psychobabble neat and tidy.

Time to move on to another staple of punditry: confident conjectures supported by absolutely nothing.

MATTHEWS: If George W. Bush had won the popular vote in 2000 and lost in the Electoral College after a Supreme Court decision, I contend he would have strutted across the country as the most popular guy in the country and he would have loved the adulation he would have gotten.
(CROSSTALK)
BLANKLEY: I think he would have been -- the right thing to do is be an understated barter, to let everybody -- you were a -- you know, a victim of the election, as it were, but do it with great calmness and coolness.
MATTHEWS: Yes. I suggest you act debonair, enjoy yourself, say, the people like me. I accept the system.

Well, now I know how to behave if my presidential win is ever stolen from me by the Supreme Court.

Premature ejectulation (end stage)
And wouldn't you know that it would be a woman to point out the obvious deficiency in the whole encounter....

MATTHEWS: Marie, Al Gore is out of the race.... What does it do [to the] left -- is it now Kerry against Hillary?
MARIE COCCO, NEWSDAY: I think, right now, that's where it is. But it is awfully early.

PHOTO: Tony Blankley, in costume for Footlights College Annual Revue.