Hey, sugardaddies come and go. Life's like that.

Townhall.com is Independent -- we need your help
(Townhall.com)

Omigod! Townhall.com has lost its heritage but gained its "independence."

Dear faithful readers,

I have great news.
Townhall.com is going independent. That’s right. We’re free to take on the liberals with everything we’ve got.

Does this mean Coulter's unlocking her chastity belt?!

For nearly ten years, The Heritage Foundation helped nurture us into one of the best conservative sites anywhere, but we’re on our own now. A dream come true.

Perhaps a bad dream come true?

This split is necessary because the battle for the heart and soul of Americans on the web is getting very serious. All over the place, liberals are setting up websites and blogs to tear down the foundations of our great nation. . . .

I don't quite grasp the "this split is necessary" causation as stated. Perhaps discretion prevails here.

We expect this announcement to bring the liberals out in hoards as they attempt to smother this new baby in its crib. This great news started to leak into the Washington media over this past weekend and already the liberal blogs are trying to spin this to their advantage. They are trying to discredit us with other media operations. They hope to silence us before we’ve uttered a w---*

That's right. When I'm not busy tearing down the foundations of the country by means of my incredibly powerful blog, I'm smothering newborns in their cribs. However do I find the time?

That is why I am asking for a generous donation from you today. Your contribution will ensure that Townhall.com stays on the Web with all the news you want and need to see.

Hey, just force Jonah Goldberg to cut back on his Snickers bar consumption and put the money in the chump change jar. That ought to float Townhall.com for a while.

*Edited slightly for an equally slight humorous effect.