Saturday, March 08, 2008

Weekend swing-bys

The Mighty Reason Man at VeryVeryHappy does some enthusiastic electoral role-plaing. For the complete cast of characters, be sure to read his entire post here.
You are a Republican. First off, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOUR PARTY IS KILLING AMERICA! Ha ha. I kid because I love. Seriously, though. You're a Republican. Your party is staring into the abyss…. Your word is like ashes and your honor is like dust. You are a joke. Do you prefer to:

A. Rehash all the battles of the nineties, when your star was on the rise, and every week came news of some new smear against Bill Clinton. Remember the nineties? Political journalists do. Even the nominally liberal ones….

B. Talk about the last seven years.

You are Joe Lieberman. You are a self-righteous prick who has shown the moral courage (feel the sneer...taste the sneer...) to not actually switch sides and officially join the Republicans…. Fox News' favorite elected Democrat, would you rather:

A. Have the wife of the man about whom you once said "In this case, the president apparently had extramarital relations with an employee half his age and did so in the workplace in the vicinity of the Oval Office. Such behavior is not just inappropriate. It is immoral," become the Democratic nominee, thus allowing you to kick The Holy Joe Roadshow into overdrive in support of John McCain….

B. Watch as the supercharged Democratic turnout engendered by an Obama nomination benefits down-ticket Democrats, leading to even bigger gains in the House and Senate than people are predicting. No longer needing to kiss your ass for support on tight votes, Harry Reid instructs the Senate clerk to begin referring to you as "the gentleman from Nobody Gives A Fuck." Alan Colmes laughs at your impotence.
And over at That’s okay; I don’t like you either, J. Michael Neal gives us his version of Friday’s House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform Hearing on CEO Pay and the Mortgage Crisis. Here are just a few of the responses you won’t be seeing on the CSPAN rebroadcasts.
Richard Parsons, Citigroup, former chair, compensation committee: We thought about exactly the question you asked, and we did decide that we should pay failing executives as much money as successful ones.

Angelo Mozilo, Countrywide Financial, founder and CEO: Geez, that memo looks bad. In retrospect, I really wish I hadn’t written it.

John Finnegan, Merrill Lynch, chairman, compensation committee: It isn’t just [CEO] O’Neal that can’t be fired for incompetence, it’s all 10,000 of our executives that we can’t fire for incompetence.
For you Waxman wonks out there, here’s a nice collection of background material (PDF file).

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